The other day...I mean NIGHT!

Huh... It seems as though I remembered how to have a good time! I'm still young right? I don't have to rush into a serious relationship or get married...Right?...Right! I had a fantastic time with my friends on Friday night. Although I didn't sleep a wink and ate something that made me sick the next morning! "Stupid" (shakes head side to side) Bad milk or something. That lead to horrific allergies and I hope not but it feels like a cold! (SUCK) It feels irresponsible but I think it has a bit to do with work lately...

My boss seems to be living in fantasy land. He doesn't understand the reality of our situation. Two of us are trying to cover 7 days a week and it is disasterous if one of us is missing during the week days! We are working 12 days on and 2 off then 5 on 2 off. I got a bit of help from someone at the higher level but I...not my boss, made the call for help!! I don't recall signing up for hard times and no help. That wasn't on the application. My pal and I work fantastically together and we are beginning to STRESS OUT!!! We have the hours to hire another full time employee but my boss is dragging his feet! Our part-timer has 3 children, one of which is an infant with issues. (poor thing, she's soooo cute!) She has no flex and limited availability. It is unwise to keep us hanging when we could hire someone!!! I JUST WANT SOME HELP!!!

Good night Moon...

It's been awhile...

Wow...I haven't written since that tragic day... I don't think I will ever like that stupid holiday! I should leave town and just be alone for the day.

Anyhow...That ass is long gone!! "Ken" found his "Barbie" They're gonna live happily ever after!! I'm just envious... I don't have my "true love" by my side.

Work work work...Play....Work work work...

God I'm boring lately! I have nothing but a fight with my current "12yr old" boyfriend to report about! Guys can really act like children sometimes...The immaturity is grinding away at my nerves and my patients! I can't have an intellegent conversation or any conversation! How is this going to survive?? YES...He's VERY good to me, other than being Jealous. I crave the good conversation!! And the one person I want to have it with he doesn't like or know! (I am however very much "allowed" to hang out with my friend from Simi Valley) You know who you are!! How fucking IRONIC is that shit!! Well it's only ironic to me...I do like spending time with the "Simi Valley" guy. He's a laugh a minute and we LOVE Football!!! I hope to hang out and catch some football with him! It's always more fun to watch with someone who likes it as much as I do. I'm not "schooled" on it, but I LOVE to watch and yell at the T.V.!!

I gotta go... the pillows are calling!

Later that day...

My heart had hope. I don't love the guy but I do love spending time in his arms...He got drunk and never intended to spend any time with me tonight. Am I just a piece of ass? What the hell is going on here! Confused and sad...

The early hours of V-Day...

This was me...early in the day. So very happy to have recieved a Valentine from my great friend Jessica! Love you darlin! Then the day went on and my stupid phone service stopped working for text messaging. I love to text and I was hoping to recieve an invite to A's house to hang out. No such luck!

A new guy...

So, sometimes we meet someone and it seems so nice at first glance. You share the same friends and that is how you came to meet. If your friends are true, their friends should be as well, right? Maybe. You spend time together and a few things come out about each of you. You really like him. You think he's a nice guy who enjoys a few of the same things you do. But...In the pit of your stomach something just doesn't sit right. It's a feeling so small that you can ignore it if you really try. Fooling ourselves has become too easy these days. How do you know when your true self is talking and when it's really the counterfeit self you have become over the years? When should you listen? Everytime, blanket policy? Wouldn't your "friends" warn you? "Hey, take our word, he's better as just a friend" One can only hope she has friends like that.

He's tall dark and handsome, has a good job and a car that runs. He seems kind and caring, but is that just the Alcohol talking? You think not, but you've been wrong before. Always see the good, ignore the potential bad. He'll slow it down, or he'll do this or that. Blah Blah Blah. Are You fooling yourself because it seems rare to meet such a nice guy? He's already lost some points by simply not opening the car door! Let's face it folks, it's the small simple things that count. If you let those go what is left that is important? It's not crucial to our well being that a man open our car door but to some of us it shows old school respect and values. Values that are yours. Should you change or change who you hang with?

It will always be harder to stay true to yourself than to adapt to your surroundings by sacrificing values and beliefs. It would be the beaten path instead of the road less traveled. It's time to take that new road.

Love, Sugar

Fun at the new pad...

I have been having so much fun at my new house! I get more time to myself and when my roomie is home she's cool to hang with! She likes to cook, I like to eat, it's a great match. Ha Ha Ha!!! I love having my own room and my own bathroom. My teeth are so clean too 'cause J is a dental hygienist and office manager of a dental practice! Yeah for me! Life is pretty good for now. I'll take while I can get it! I just needed a week to cool off and relax. I'm better now.

I'm just chillin in my room making my music library larger for my new iPod! I love this thing. It has as much memory as my computer! 60GB! So cool. I got it from a friend for almost half what she paid in August! I got all the music too! I have to add more of my stuff though...the country stuff! (She had some on there!)

K, back to the music...

love ya!

-Sugar

Why is it that the holidays bring out the worst in people? We all freak out and make too big a deal about Christmas. Why is it more important on this day than any other day to see your family? It should be important all the time! K... I just wanted to vent a little.

I just want to get through the month of December. I usually love December. My birthday... the chance to decorate...cooler weather...a time to give, however, giving should be all year long. I'm just babbling. Time to try and get a bit of sleep.

-Sugar

The Holidays

I can't seem to sleep this month what with all that has happened. I need to try and remember what life is all about. HAVE FUN...Say I LOVE YOU...SMILE a bit MORE! Take that chance on that GUY. Throw caution to the wind...Keep in touch with FRIENDS! Make NEW friends!

Babble...Blah...Must get some sleep!

To all my FRIENDS(most of which will never see this!) I LOVE YOU! Have a FANTASTICAL Holiday season!

Heart and Soul,

Sugar

Pain...Is there really a place "up there"?

I still think of Rebecca and Paul everyday. I look to the sky and say hello. Is there really a place "up there"? I may not be religious but I do hope that my loved ones are watching out for me like guardian Angels! We all deal with loss in different ways. For me I have to keep saying hello to them every day so I remember to miss them. When I find an old card or a see a photo I don't get as upset because I try to believe they know I say hello everyday.

I will miss you forever.
Strive for the love that you had.
Keep you in my heart.
Learn from your grace.

I love you!